All I want is to be perfect
by CielPhantomhive145
Summary: Five year old Ciel has lived in and orphanage for the past two years of his life. When couples come in looking to adopt, they never send him a glance or say hello. What happens when Ciel gets adopted? Is his life going to finally have meaning? Or will the gods ignore his pleas? Read to find out.
1. Adoption

**All I want is to be perfect**

By: cielphantomhive145

**Narrator**

A noble coupled strolled through the doors of the orphanage, a rare sight considering no one ever came to the orphanage.

"We would like to adopt a child" stated the lady, "My name is Rachel Phantomhive, this is Vincent Phantomhive, and we are looking to adopt a young boy..."

"Oh, that's very nice of you! Well, why don't you come around the back with me" stated the old woman behind the counter.

The couple followed the old women to a large room covered in beds. There was not one child in sight except for two boys playing in the back. The old lady approached them and whispered something in their ear; they looked up happily and dashed off to the other room.

"Those are two of the older boys in the orphanage, no one ever wants to adopt them..." the old lady sighed... "It's a rarity to even see one person come here looking to adopt a child, anyhow, please follow me, the children are in this room." Rachel and Vincent nodded and quietly followed behind the old lady. They entered a bright room that held at least 50 children between the ages of two and seventeen...The children were busy playing and drawing, chattering to their friends about their futures.

"Attention everyone! This is Mr. And Mrs. Phantomhive, they are here to say hello, so please be courteous and don't trip them up!" The old lady warned. Many of the children stole careful glances at the couple, wary of the new strangers. Rumor had it that there were people going around town adopting children to be used in sacrificial rituals; this couple couldn't be one of them...could they?

**Ciel**

"Attention everyone! This is Mr. And Mrs. Phantomhive, they are here to say hello, so please be courteous and don't trip them up!" warned the old lady... she may look nice on the outside, but when there aren't guests here, she is as mean as the wicked witch of the east. I looked around the room and noticed that a lot of the children had worried looks in their eyes, tche, stupid rumors. These _children_ are all so gullible...oh well; it seems that it can't be helped.

I sat in the corner and waited; every time a couple walked in here, they would glance across the room, spot me, and turn the other way. I guess that they want the perfect child. Clearly, I am not one. I don't have any friends at this orphanage, nor do I care to make any. When I turn 18 in a short 13 more years, I will be out of here...unless I can run away before that.

I watched the couple, I didn't move from where I sat, I just ignored them; they probably already have their mind set on a girl with long brown hair and blue eyes...or a boy with blonde hair and green eyes. Never have they wanted a boy with blue hair and blue eyes...they must think that I'm deformed or something.

**Rachel and Vincent**

"Honey, look over there" Rachel whispered in Vincent's ear, pointing to a small boy in the corner.

"He looks perfect, let's go say hello" replied Vincent.

The slowly approached the boy, "Hi" Rachel said as she bent down, "My name is Rachel, what's your name?"

**Ciel**

I had started to tune out as to what the couple had been doing, and I hadn't realized that they were right in front of me until the woman had started to speak to me; "Hi" Rachel said as she bent down, "My name is Rachel, what's your name?"

I looked at her blankly, NO ONE ever spoke to me before, but this time I was the first child that was spoken to. I wasn't avoided for once.

"Hi...my name is, C-Ciel..." I ventured cautiously; I didn't want them to think that I would be a nuisance IF they were contemplating whether or not to adopted me.

Ok, so earlier it seemed as though I didn't want to be adopted, right? Well, that's the opposite of the fact. I actually thought that I was never going to be adopted...that's why I didn't make any friends, because I knew that they would become adopted at one point of the other, and many of them were to childish for me.

"Well, very nice to meet you Ciel! This is Vincent, he's my husband." Rachel smiled at me, she seemed quite nice. By now, all of the children in the orphanage were captivated by the scene unfolding before them. They all knew that I never spoke to anyone, and I guess they thought that I wasn't going to be adopted ever.

"Would you like to come home with us, Ciel?" Vincent smiled at me, I definitely wanted to go home with them...but something was telling me that I shouldn't, that I should stay here. I was worried that they were going to become tired of me within a week and just throw me out of the house.

"Um...y-yes...please!" I looked up and smiled, and boy did it hurt, I hadn't smiled in 2 years...since I had entered the orphanage. Rachel extended her hand and helped me up; I stood up on my thin legs, accepting her help.

"Shall we get going then?" Rachel smiled, tche, she certainly smiles a lot...I don't understand how people can be so happy on this decrepit planet. I was caught off guard when Rachel pulled me close to her and she picked me up...bridal style. We turned and walked through the doors to the old lady's office.

When we entered the old lady stared at me in shock.

"Is this the..._child_...that you wish to adopt?" She spat, glaring at me. She never liked me...well, here goes nothing, I guess they could still put me back in the other room with the children and leave-

"Yes, no matter what you say to us, this is the child that we want" Vincent replied, interrupting my thoughts. Rachel laughed, she was looking down at me, she must have noticed the look of shock on my face when Vincent said that I was wanted by them.

**Rachel and Vincent**

"Sign here...here...here...and here..." The old woman grumbled.

_Geez, how many papers does that decrepit old woman expect me to sign _thought Rachel; _I already signed a booklet full of papers, half of which I didn't read!_

I watched my wife sign the papers; I knew that she was probably starting to become frustrated with signing all of these papers...

"Done" the old lady stated, she got up, so did we, Rachel still clinging to Ciel, and the old lady showed us to the door.

"Thank-you for visiting the orphanage and giving this child a second chance at having a childhood," the old lady bid us farewell and we were off.

**Ciel**

Bloody hell, how many papers does this woman have to force Rachel- I mean mom, to sign! I began to grow impatient with how long this process was taking; I could tell by the way my mom was glaring at the papers that she was getting tired of this too.

"Done" the old lady stated. FINALLY, ITS OVER! Rachel adjusted her grip on me and we followed the old lady out of the room. When we reached the door the old lady gave us some speech of thanks and before I knew it, we were off. I was placed in to the carriage first, and then Dad and mom followed behind.

I was tired, I wasn't going to tell that to my parents, but I was in desperate need of some sleep. I tried to force my eyes to stay open, but the rocking of the carriage wasn't helping my cause. Before I knew it, sleep took me.


	2. Welcome

**All I want is to be perfect**

By: cielphantomhive145

**Hi! I didn't think that I would get this many readers for my fanfic! Thanks to everyone who has read this! There will be approximately nine chapters in this story, and yes, Sebastian will be in this fanfic, just not until a few more chapters **

**Disclaimer: I know I forgot to say this for chapter 1, but I do not own any of the characters in this fanfiction; Rachel, Vincent, Tanaka, Ciel, Miss. Nina, and later Sebastian. The only character I own at the current moment is the old lady. **

**Ciel**

I was shaken awake by my new mother when we arrived at their house...I mean, mansion. Their house was huge; it was almost the same size as the one I used to live in before I became an orphan! I had never expected to be adopted, let alone be adopted in to a family that was noble.

The carriage driver had collected my bag of clothes for me and was already taking it inside. Dad helped me out of the carriage. When we arrived there was an elderly butler there to greet us, he said that his name was Tanaka. He seemed very nice, hopefully we would get along.

"Welcome home, Ciel" said mom. She was holding my hand now, "Why don't we go up stairs and get you settled in to your room" she smiled. I nodded my head and allowed her to lead me to my room. There were several closed doors going do several hallways. I was probably going to get lost at some point.

"Here we are" dad opened a set of double doors that led in to a rather large bedroom. The walls were a light blue, with dark blue curtains hanging over floor to ceiling windows. A large queen size bed was in the center of the room, there was a door connecting the bedroom to a private bathroom. I stood there in awe, this place was amazing. I finally had a second chance at living in a family...

"Thank-you" I said and I turned and gave my new parents a hug.

Chuckling they replied, "It's the least we can do", that's a strange response... don't people reply to their children saying things like because we love you?

"I love you" I tested; I needed to know if they loved me.

"Yes, now, let's get you cleaned up for dinner" Said Vincent. Well...maybe they were just nervous about saying that they love me? It doesn't look like they have had any other children, so I must be their first.

**Vincent**

"I love you" stammered ciel as he hugged Rachel. _He seems like a...unique child..._Thought Vincent. _I will consult Rachel on this later; we will have to figure out when we will make our move, and how fast we want this to progress_.

"Tanaka" I called. "Please bathe ciel and prepare him for dinner, we are having guests tonight, contact miss. Nina and have her prepare a few outfits for Ciel. Make sure she has one ready by 6:00 this evening"

"Yes, master" Tanaka replied to me. The elderly man turned to Rachel and took Ciel's had and led him to the bathroom to run his bath.

"Rachel," I started "Don't get too attached, and DON'T forget our motive"

"I know...we should still be nice to him for now though, play it up." She replied.

"Fine, what do you think? I think one month should be sufficient, he seems like he will obey us" I stated, " Starting in one week, we will begin the ritual."

**Ciel**

I followed Tanaka in to the bathroom; he turned on the tap and began adding bubbles to the warm water.

"Young lord, what temperature do you prefer your bath?" Tanaka questioned.

"Hot please" I stated, he turned the tap a little more, then he turned to me, "May I undress you for your bath?"

"uh..I-I..." I stared at him, was I supposed to just let this random old man undress me?! I mean he seemed nice and all, but come on! I barely know him! "No, thank you!" I stated, he looked at me, and smiled, "Then I shall step out until you are undressed for your bath, please be careful when getting in, call me when you are in" and with that Tanaka left. I stood there for a few minutes; one thing I didn't like was being touched, and this old guy was going to bathe me...last time I checked that required a lot of touching...

I slipped in to the water, it was the perfect temperature, Tanaka really does know what he's doing. I leaned back against the edge of the tub, I then realized my scar was completely visible. Now for sure Tanaka will tell my parents something and make the disown me. My thoughts were interrupted when Tanaka knocked on the door, "Is everything alright young master? May I come in?" I sighed, Here goes nothing, "Yes".

-twenty minutes later-

Tanaka didn't say anything about the mark on my back, he actually ignored it. I hope that if he had seen it he wouldn't tell mom or dad.

**Sebastian**

I sat in the dark corner of the room, invisible to all humans of the household. \

"Intersting..." I watched as the young boy..._Ciel..._stepped out of the bathroom as Tanaka followed behind him.

"What exactly are they planning to do this time?" I muttered. This was going to be a tough one.

**Ciel- Dinner time**

"young master, please go down to the dining hall within the next 15 minutes" Tanaka said. With a smile he turned and left.

I hadn't realized how hungry I had been until Tanaka actually brought up dinner. I guess all of my nerves had prevented me from feeling anything except fear. I sat on my bed for a minute taking in my room; the dark red floors were impeccably clean and the light blue wall paper wasn't falling off like it had been in my old room at the orphanage. I can't believe that I had actually been adopted. I got up and started towards the door when I felt something behind me. I could've sworn I heard someone say, "interesting...". Probably my mind playing tricks on me. With that I walked out of my room and went to the dining hall.

-10 minutes later-

"Ciel! Your seat is over there!" My mom called and pointed to the seat right next to her. The dining hall was marvellous. The ceiling was at least 30 feet high and the dining table was at least 15 feet long itself! The table was covered with food and all of the servants were waiting to serve us.

"In honour of you joining our family, we are pleased to have a feast; all for you my dearest son" Dad said. I felt so loved, unlike any other moment in my life. I can't remember anything about when I was a child. All I remember was having a mark burnt in to my back and always trying to cover it up.

Tanaka pulled the chair out for me and I smiled at him, "Thank-you", as I sat. My parents called over the servants and they started to serve the food. They put in front of me a huge plate filled to the brim with food. There was no way I was going to be able to eat all of that!

"To our newest son" mom stated as she held out her glass. We clinked out glasses together and began to eat.

-an hour later-

I awoke to the rhythmic rising and falling of someone breathing. I looked up to see dad carrying me up the stairs to me room, Tanaka following behind him. I obviously passed out after I finished eating...I haven't eaten that much since I first arrived at the orphanage. I felt my eye lids grow heavy and I didn't fight my eyelids when they fell. I let sleep take me.

**Rachel**

"Ciel will fall asleep after his meal. Once he falls asleep, I want you to excuse yourself from the table and go to the basement and prepare all of the equipment, we may be able to begin the..._process_...within the next few days. We will not need a week" my beloved husband turned to me.

Just as my Vincent predicted ciel passed out on the table. He promptly excused himself and Tanaka and took Ciel up to his bedroom. I quickly went down the basement and found myself regretting what we were planning to do. I suppose that there's no going back now though.

**To be continued...**

IM SOOOOOO SORRY! I DIDN'T UPDATE IN SO LONG I APOLOGIZE. I MEANT TO UPDATE BUT APPARENTLY PEOPLE CLEARLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO KEEP THEIR WORD TO THEIR PLANS! One minute they are supposed to come over and you spend the whole day cleaning the house and finishing your run for the day (I have to run everyday...it's competitive) then the next their like, "oh, sorry I can't come anymore, I procrastinated too much and I have a million gajillion projects due on Monday!" Sometimes I just want to flip my desk.

Anyways, now that I'm done ranting, I will try my best to post more chapters sooner! All of my teachers haven't been giving out a lot of homework or projects so I have a bit of spare time on my hands currently. Thanks for all of the follows and the favourites! :D Sorry that this chapter wasn't very interesting, I'll try to make the next one more interesting! I promise

Please rate and review!


	3. Trouble

**All I Want is to be Perfect**

By: Cielphantomhive145

**Hi! Sorry I have been busy lately so I'm trying to post a few more chapters just to make up for the amount of time that I didn't post anything! Thanks for being patient and reading! **

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own any characters in this chapter or this novel yet except for the old lady...so far **

**Ciel**

"It's time to wake up" then light flooded my room. How did I get in to my bed? Oh yeah...I fell asleep at the dinner table. Hopefully dad didn't mind carrying me up the stairs... I hope that he isn't mad...

"For breakfast today we have crepes with strawberries and nutella (I know nutella wasn't around back in the 1800's, but it's so good I had to put it in to my story!) Alongside a glass of milk to compliment the rich flavours of the nutella." I could feel my mouth watering just by catching a glimpse of my breakfast. Before I knew it, Tanaka was on the floor in front of me putting on my socks, shorts, shirt, and jacket for the day. He handed me my food and utensils and I did my best now to stuff my face. The food was delectable; I have never had anything like it before! Once I finished breakfast Tanaka began to tell me my schedule for the day.

"At 10:00am you are going out in the garden to play until lunch, which will be at noon. After lunch your parents wish to go out so you will be spending the day with them in downtown London. You will promptly return in time for dinner which will be at 6 o'clock sharp!" With that Tanaka put the shoes on my feet, collected the dishes and rolled the trolley out of the room.

I stood up and started towards the door, I didn't know where I could go. It was only 9...I had an hour before I was allowed to go outside to play. I decided that I would go try to find my parents and explore the mansion a bit. I stepped out of my room and looked down both sides of the hall. I didn't hear anyone coming, so I decided to go left. It wasn't long before I reached a large set of double doors that appeared tarnished and dull.

**Vincent**

"Is that all you need this morning, my lord?" Questioned our most faithful butler, Tanaka, "I'm fine you are dismissed," Sometimes that old man was nosey. Hopefully he knew that he was going to have to butt out of what was going to happen next or else he will have to be...disposed...of. A thought suddenly occurred to me. It was only 9am...Ciel wasn't due to be outside until 10...that means he was probably exploring the mansion.

I shook Rachel's shoulder abruptly, "You locked the basement door...right?" I started nervously, if Ciel found the basement and went downstairs, our plan would be wasted.

"Eh? Umm...I can't remember..." she sleepily replied.

"Where is the key?" I nearly shouted. This is not good, she better have locked the door.

"I don't know...maybe in the night stand?" I flung open the drawer, and found the key. I grabbed it and slipped my shoes on quickly.

"I'm going to go check that the basement door is closed." Rachel didn't say anything in reply; she rolled to face away from me and continued sleeping.

I started down the hallway towards the basement door...hopefully Ciel hasn't found that room yet...

**Ciel**

I opened the door quickly and quietly, and then I shut it behind me. I am very curious and my curiosity sometimes gets the best of me. Surely mother and father would have told me that I wasn't allowed down here already...right? I walked down the stairs quickly trying not to make them squeak. It was quite dark, the light switch had been outside the door, and I had flipped it on, but even still it was dark.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and realized where I was. I was in the dungeon, with all of the torture devices hanging on the walls. I jumped as I heard the door creak open, someone was coming. I ran to the corner of the room where it was darkest and crouched. If anyone comes down and sees me and I'm not allowed in here, I'm in serious trouble.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs; dad peered his head in to the basement, took one quick look around and walked back upstairs. I heard the door slam shut and a key turn in the lock. Then the lights went out.

**Vincent**

"Thankfully no one was down there" I thought to myself. Hopefully it stayed that way. The door had been unlocked and the light had been left on...I was scared for a minute there.

I decided that I was going to keep the key in my pocket, that way it didn't get lost. Tanaka had a key to the dungeon, but he wasn't going to go down there anytime soon...unless something happens. I didn't want to go back to my room, Rachel would only rub it in my face saying that she wasn't stupid and of course she would have locked the door. Then she would get mad when I told her it wasn't locked.

I resolved to going to my office and completing paper work for the Funtom Company until lunch time.

**Ciel**

The only thought going through my head right now was that I had to get out. I knew that no one was going to come back down looking for me for a while, and if they did and they found me I would surely get in trouble for not responding to father when he came down the stairs.

I stumbled through the darkness looking for the stairs. I finally found them and began the long treacherous climb. I had to be careful where I stepped because some of the stairs were very creaky and there were holes between the steps that if I wasn't careful, I could slip through. Now that the light was out it was pitch black and I can't even see me hand when it's right in front of my face. Lost in my thought I didn't realize I reached the door until I had bumped in to it. Oh no, what if someone was in the hallway and heard the door move, then I would surely be caught.

I held my breath and waited a few minutes before I tried the door. Locked, just like I thought it would be. I was starting to shake, on the verge of crying. I didn't like the dark, nor did I like being locked in. For some reason I strongly disliked closed spaces. I could see a bit off light leaking from under the door, but it wasn't enough to light up much of anything. I grabbed the handle and tried to turn the knob again; it didn't budge, again.

My chicken arms hung limply at my sides. I realized what I was going to do. I was going to break the door open without causing damage to the door.

**Sebastian**

He couldn't see me, but I could definitely see him. I watched as he bumped in to the door and him freezing to the spot afraid he was going to get caught. I could smell the fear, and that he was about to cry. He sprang to his feet and carefully crept back down the stairs. He put his arms in front of him and desperately grabbed at every little thing, looking for something.

**Ciel**

I feel like I'm being watched. I am reaching out looking for something that I can jam between the door and the frame to unlatch the lock. I finally felt my hand grasp around a thin metal bar; sharp on one side, probably a knife of some sorts. I ran up the stairs, having memorized where each creaky step is. I ran to the door and quickly slid the knife in to the edge of the door and slid it down. A soft click was heard and I quickly took the knife down the stairs and exited the basement. I closed the door softly when-

"CIEL PHANTOMHIVE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

**To be continued...**

Yay! Two chapters in one day! This is going well so far. I hope you guys like the story! R and R please!


	4. Death

**All I Want is to be Perfect**

By: Cielphantomhive145

**Hey! I hope you guys liked the last chapter...it's starting to get more interesting! I'm so in to this story right now myself I really want to keep updating! **

**Disclaimer: ****I don't own any characters again...except for the old lady **

**Rachel**

Oh my god...Ciel went in the basement. I decided that even though it's only day two, it's never too early to start.

"CIEL PHANTOMHIVE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He looked at me shocked, fear written across his pale face. I felt bad, but I love Vincent more than Ciel.

"I-I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean too, I was just curious and I was ex-"his voice cut off when I shattered the vase on the floor. I heard a sob escape his mouth. He stood tall, even though he was terrified. I picked up a sharp shard of the vase and I approached him.

"You are not to go in to the basement, you're not allowed down there, ever, unless we _put_ you down there." I said as I stepped closer to him. A tear gathered in the corner of his eye. I abruptly pushed him to the floor and tore off his jacket. I lifted up the back of his shirt.

**Tanaka**

I heard a loud shattering sound coming from the left wing. My old butlers ears could now tell where the echoes of the mansion came from. I walked quickly and quietly to the location of the sound; where the basement doors were. I can hear the incoherent shouting of Rachel as I approached a choked sob...Lord Vincent possibly? He never cries though.

As I peered around the corner I saw Rachel on top of a small figure...Ciel! The shattered vase lay on the ground in an irreparable state. I stood frozen, Rachel rubbed his back...? I see the glint of a shard of the vase and I instantly knew what she was doing. She was cutting Ciel's back.

**Ciel**

I thought they loved me. Parents don't do this to their children that they love...do they? I screamed. I couldn't hold it in, the sharp shallow cuts on my back burned as the shard of glass shredded my fragile skin.

The mark on my back! Mother is going to see it! I try to move away but she only grabs me harder. I don't want her to see the mark and disown me. I don't want to go to the orphanage.

"You have angered me, Ciel," She spat my name with more poison venom in it then a rattle snake, "Because of this I have broken a vase, this is your fault as well." I felt the pressure decrease on my back as she stepped off. It's over. Finally. Before I catch my breath I am suddenly flipped on to my back, the freshly engraved scars now rubbing against the now blood red carpet. She crouched over me, grabbing my face. I watched terrified as the sharpest point of the shard came down; straight towards my left eye.

**Vincent**

Ah, I see that Rachel has already started the process. -Another scream rings through the air- Tanaka better know his place. He no doubt is witnessing Ciel's...punishment...right now. I smirked, so it begins.

**Ciel**

The pain is unbearable; I let out a blood curdling scream. I can't see anything through my left eye. I guess I'm not going shopping or to the garden today.

Suddenly the pressure is gone, the pain is still here, but mother is gone. I hear her footsteps clack down the hallway...what do I do know? I definitely can't walk...let alone see...I lay there, helpless.

**Tanaka**

This is horrible. I didn't think that the lord and the lady were so cruel. I can't decipher what the true purpose was for them to adopt a son...but it can't be good. I approached Rachel, resolving to help Ciel in a moment.

I caught up to Rachel in the hallway, "My lady is something upsetting you?" I try not to provoke her.

The wind is knocked out of me, I cannot breathe, and I don't even realize what is happening until I feel the cool glass slit my stomach and throat. I can't breathe, now Ciel is alone...

I gasp for breath and feel myself slip away, Rachel stands above me, covered in red, smiling maniacally. I take one final breath, and then I fall asleep...

**Ciel**

I see Tanaka, I try to call out to him for him to help me, but he chases after mother. I can't see him once he rounds the corner. A few seconds later I hear a loud thump followed by a gasping sound.

What kind of family have I been adopted in to?

A cool breeze sweeps across the room and I feel as though I am being watched...I am exhausted, I feel myself falling asleep. Hopefully my sleep will be painless.

**Rachel**

Finally, that stupid butler is dead. He was so nosey anyways.

"Vinny~ we are still going shopping, right~?" I chimed in, throwing the shard to the side and jumping in to my husband's arms.

"Yep, first we have to clean up and put Ciel...Away."

"Right" I giggled. This was going to be interesting. I feel no remorse anymore. We hold hands and walk back towards the basement, grabbing the needle on the way there.

Once we reached Ciel he was already asleep, I quickly jabbed the needle in to his arm, "This should keep you asleep."

Vincent picked up Ciel and carried him to the basement and hurriedly chained him, I'm not sure he even did a good job...oh well, that scrawny little boy is helpless, he won't be able to do anything anyways.

**Vincent**

After we locked the basement door and turned out the lights, I waited in the foyer for Rachel to change so that we can go shopping.

I hate shopping, but unfortunately, I married someone who loves it.

I'm pretty sure she loves shopping more then she loves me.

"I'm ready to go!" Rachel said as she came down the stairs cleaned from any blood wearing a beautiful blue dress. I let her out the house first, I turned and locked the door as the carriage driver helped her in to the seating area. I hurried to catch up.

**To be continued...**

Wow, I just posted 3 updates in the same day! Haha, I'm getting really in to this story...I already see where it is going Please R and R! I know that the ending for this chapter was bad...but I couldn't think of anything else...haha Thanks guys!


	5. Ritual

**All I want is to be Perfect**

By: Cielphantomhive145

**Hello again! Thank you for being such dedicated readers! I didn't think that anyone would actually read my story...but you guys proved me wrong! I need to ask you guy's one favor though...I have a friend who made a deal with me. She said that she would read my story if I got 100 reviews. So I was hoping that you guys would review my story please? The review could literally say anything, so please review! **** Thanks! **

**Ciel**

It's dark. Its cold...where am I? I feel the cool metal of chains tightened around my wrists and ankles...did mother and father put me here?

It can't be...no...Way...Were the children back at the orphanage right? Am I the next sacrificial offering for a ritual?

I could feel my chest tighten, I hadn't had an asthma attack in several years. I can't even remember the last time I had one...

My breath became short gasps and I could feel myself growing faint. The gashes on my back tore open with each forceful rise and fall of my chest. My eye began to hurt, and I can barely see.

Each breath I took was like someone was setting fire to my back, a hammer smashing around my head.

Suddenly the pain was gone. The air was loose and it became easy to breath. I feel very tired...my fear of not being able to breathe dissipated and it was replaced by a fresh new anger. I was cold and hungry and I couldn't do anything about it. My eye was throbbing and I couldn't see anything...I pulled at my chains sharply, mustering up as much strength as I could to rip them out of the wall or break them.

Suddenly the room turned extremely cold...

**Sebastian**

I watched as he struggled...it was absolutely adorable...his will power was unbelievable. He would definitely make an interesting meal.

I approached, I watched the boy shiver as I approached; of course the closer I get the colder the temperature in that area becomes.

It was time to make myself apparent; I materialized before the boy, his eyes widened in shock.

**Ciel**

The room kept getting colder and I couldn't move to cover my bare skin. My shirt was all torn and I was wearing shorts. Both of which were drenched with blood, adding to my chills.

I looked forward and watched in shock as the air in 5 feet in front of me began to waver. Slowly a figure materialized, his face covered by the shadows.

"Hello" a smooth voice rang the voice instantaneously.

Well I might as well reply, "Hello" I said hesitantly. Am I hallucinating? This is not good.

The dark figure spoke, "once you realize your goals, find me, and I will be of assistance." With that the figure left as quickly as he came. Astonished, I hung there (not that I could do anything else) and I pondered this. What did he mean by my goals...? I have none. Creating goals would be the last thing on my mind right now. Correction, my only goal right now is to get out of here.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard footsteps on the ceiling above.

**Rachel**

"Come we must prepare for the ritual" Vincent stated as he walked down the hall to his bedroom. This was moving all too fast. One second Ciel is being treated like a prince, the next he is chained to a wall about to be sacrificed.

I still feel no remorse.

It has to be done.

There is no choice.

I slipped in to my robe and rushed to get ready. On the way out of my room I noticed the riding crop in the corner hanging over a chair. I smirked, that will be useful. I grabbed it and rushed to the basement.

-30 minutes later-

By the time I had gotten dressed and prepared the basement, all 25 of the guests had arrived. This was going to be exciting; we didn't always find such a fine child to use for this ritual. Usually we ended up with a common street urchin; not someone with noble blood.

I stood at the top of the stairs watching all of the people happily chatting about what the ritual was going to be like today. I could almost feel the excitement pulsating off the group.

"Attention everybody, Good evening and welcome to the Phantomhive estate! If you would please follow Vincent to the basement and we can begin promptly." I motioned towards Vincent who was standing at the doorway to the hall that took you to the basement. The entire group began to follow Vincent to the basement. Once we reached the door everyone filed in to the basement silently and quickly.

I was the last one in so I shut and locked the door behind me, no interruptions were allowed.

**Ciel**

The door to the basement flew open not 45 minutes later. The lights were on and I saw Vincent, no longer my father, leading a large group of people down the stairs. As the people walked by I heard oohs and aahs; these people are sick.

Rachel came down the steps last, I watched, mortified, as she pulled a riding crop out from her robe and tapped it in the palm of her hand. She smiled evilly at me.

Two men with their eyes covered by the hoods on their robes approached me. I tried to squirm away, but the chains held me in place. Rachel stood there, smiling the entire time.

They abruptly grabbed my arms and released the chains, they dragged me to the room next to where I was chained, shutting the heavy wooden door behind them after Rachel entered.

I kicked and screamed as I was thrown on to a stone slab, the wind momentarily knocked out of my lungs.

The room went dark and all that I could see were the candles that each person held that illuminated their faces.

Then the chanting started.

**Vincent**

I thought by now we would have broken the boy. That he wouldn't resist us and he would welcome his inevitable death. Sigh...I guess that we are going to have to resort to that method.

"Rachel, get the solution." I ordered my wife, I was frustrated.

"Are you sure? Give him a minute-"

"NO, JUST GET THE GOD DAMN SOLUTION"

"God..." she stormed off to get what I asked her for.

**Sorry for the late update, I will try to update again soon! Thanks for reading my story, and I hope you are enjoying it. If anyone has any feedback please rate and review! **


	6. Sebastian

**All I Want is to be Perfect**

By: Cielphantomhive145

**Hi! Thanks for your continuous support! This story was only going to be 8 chapters long...however; it's definitely going to be longer...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story and I definitely do not own Kuroshitsuji.**

**Warnings: Violence and beautiful Sebastian's appearence~**

**Vincent**

Ciel's body began to shake, the ritual was working, we were finally able to contact an otherworldly creature!

His eyes flew open and were lit up with bright white light. He abruptly broke his bonds and stood.

**Ciel**

"YOU DISGRACED ME AND HAVE RUINED SEVERAL OTHER CHILDREN'S LIVES. FOR SULLYING MY NAME, YOU DESERVE TO DIE!"

I watched as my arms and legs automatically moved, spearing people through the abdomen and pulling out their inner organs. I didn't try to fight the forces moving my limbs; I was too weary to attempt anything.

**Rachel**

"VINCENT!" I screamed as Ciel's arm when straight through his chest and pulled out his heart. Vincent turned his head, "I love you," He mouthed. I felt a tear fall from my eye.

Ciel turned towards me, his eyes burning with rage. The little boy I had adopted was no longer here, we had screwed up and this cost us our lives. We should have never attempted these satanic rituals.  
He stormed towards me, slowly. I looked around and caught sight of all the limp, lifeless bodies that littered the ground. Realizing I was the only one left, I ran, as fast as I could for the stairs. Just as I reached them, I realized Ciel was walking towards me slowly. Taking the opportunity, I bolted up the stairs and tried to open the door.

The floor shook beneath my feet and to my horror, Ciel was ascending them.

"Please...Ciel honey, I wasn't the one that wanted this, it was all Vincent."

**Ciel**

My legs ascended the stairs without my permission; I was starting to feel sleepy...

"Please...Ciel honey, I wasn't the one that wanted this, it was all Vincent." Begged Rachel.  
I personally couldn't care less; I suppose Sebastian; that's what I have named the demon, felt that way as well.

"Tche, how could I possible believe that? You have attempted many summoning before, and _Ciel_ understands this fact. The actions you have taken against this young boy can never be undone. Thus, you deserve everything that you get."

I lurched forward and grabbed her throat. Her eyes stared into mine, silently pleading with me. I didn't feel any remorse. My grip tightened and I slowly tore apart her throat. First I took out the windpipe, than the broke the veins. I slowly pulled her apart, her screams falling on deaf ears. My pale white skin was painted blood red.

**Sebastian**

I released the boy from my possessive grip. He landed on the floor, conscious still.

"My lord, are you alright?" I rushed over to check is he was alright, he was simply tired. He is rather adorable...almost like...a kitten!

"I'm fine." He replied curtly, the smell of smoke filled the air, the mansion was on fire, and the room we were in was surrounded by a demon binding spell. I couldn't leave this room without a key or the spell being cancelled.

"Master, you must stay awake, I need your assistance. Under these circumstances, it seems as though I am unable to leave this room, I need you to revoke the spell that has been cast on it." I handed him a piece of paper with the spell on it, only to notice he was violently shaking.

"f-f-fire...?" his eyes stared blankly into mine; I knew of his past...how could I let this get by me? He was trapped in a burning house; of course he is afraid of fire.

Time to deactivate butler mode...

"Ciel, it's alright, I need you to say these words for me. Please, than we can get out" He looked at the piece of paper, eyes wide with fear, he took the paper.  
" Fire, earth, wind, water, disband the binding spell that contains this demon to this room and unleash him to the world."

I felt the resistance in the room decrease, he broke the spell.

-BANG-

**Ciel**

Just as soon as I finished the spell the pillars in the room began to fall. Burning wood posts were falling everywhere. The smell of smoke filled the room.

"Ciel, come here" Sebastian was on his knees holding out his arms...should I go to him? What if he throws me in to the fire? So far, I have been thrown away by numerous people, I am unwanted. What makes the devil any better, if anything I shouldn't trust him.

I took one shaking step forward. I was hyperventilating, another panic attack, great. Just what I need. I nearly tripped on my second step.

"Almost there, please trust me", he genuinely smiled at me, sliding forwards a bit. Our escape was the window beside him, but it was surrounded by flames.

By now my face was stained with grime, blood, and tears. I threw myself in to his arms, and not one second too late. A pillar had just fallen right on the spot I had been standing. I clutched his suit jacket and buried my head in to his chest. He was warm...for a demon.

**Sebastian**

"Good job, we will be going now, my lord. Close your eyes, everything is alright now" he buried his face in to my coat, how adorable~

With that I leapt out of the window and sprinted off in to the forest.

**I know this chapter was a bit shorter than the others. I haven't updated for a while and needed to write something. I promise I will update soon, it's just that my exams are coming up this week; I studied all weekend just so that I would have time to update lol. Please read and review! **


	7. Chapter 7

**All I Want is To be Perfect**

By: Cielphantomhive145

**Hi, this story is going to be a lot longer than I anticipated. It was only supposed to be about eight chapters but it is going to be much longer. I can't give an exact estimate because my plot went out the window with the last chapter...I have a whole new idea that will be incorporated in to the story~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji or any of the characters in this story except for the old lady!**

**Warning: Mild language and a wild Claude appearance. **

**Sebastian**

_Shit._ _He's __here. _

Ciel was fast asleep in my arms, how adorable.

_How could I have him slip past me? This is not good..._

**Claude**

"hehehe..." I couldn't help but laugh at the fact that he is only realizing I am here now.

And what's this? He seems to have a delectable soul with him as well...soon that shall be mine.

With that I leapt out of the tree.

**Sebastian**

I came to a halting stop just as Claude landed in front of me. I placed Ciel against a tree, "My lord, please close your eyes and do not open them until I tell you to."

He nodded in response, closing his eyes and leaning back against the tree.

"Hello, Claude" I glared. He was smirking, that bastard.

"Hello. Sebastian" he replied with venom in his voice.

He lunged for me and I deflected him face first in to a nearby tree, haha that was funny. Now his precious face will be damaged~

**Claude**

Ouch. Trees hurt. Oh, my beautiful face! How could he! I turned towards him and lunged again, this time when he tried to deflect, I stepped to the side and cut him with my gold butter knives. I thread my spiders web around him to prevent him from moving.

**Sebastian**

Claude made a high pitched whistling sound, comparable to a dog whistle. A set of triplets appeared before him, he whispered something to them..no. no, no, no, no, no. Every time I make a contract with someone he does this. He's looking for another slave...just like the triplets. At one point, I had made a contract with all of them, and he took them from me as well. If he didn't use his stupid spider threads every time we fought, this wouldn't have happened!

They took Ciel and ran.

"Sebastian!" He turned to look at me, struggling in the demons grasp. There was a look of hurt in his eyes...had he grown that fond of me so quickly?

"I win again, Sebastian!" Claude leapt out of the tree and ran off with the triplets. Ciel's screams echoed through the forest.

It took twenty minutes for me to break out of the spider webs.

What was this aching feeling that I felt in my chest? I felt something cold slide down my cheek; was I crying?

**Ciel**

I thought he wanted me. I'm never going to trust anyone again. I'm back where I started, in some cage in a dungeon. This time, I have no way of escaping seeing as everyone here is a demon. My right eye throbbed and I couldn't see anything out of it. The pain was unbearable, I didn't want to cry, but I found myself wiping the tears out of my eyes.

"Hello", great, that bastard is here. I heard Sebastian call him Claude. Creeper Claude.

I put on the best glare possible. He doubled over laughing, great, I can't even look mean.

"I'm not planning on taking your soul", that caught my attention. What does he want with me? "I want you as my slave."

God no. Please, I don't know what I did, I will redeem myself anyway except being his slave.

He walked over to the cage and unlocked the door. Only then did I realize where I was. I wasn't in a dungeon, I was in a bedroom. There was one large bed in the center. I looked down and realized that I was clean and wearing nothing but a long white T-shirt. It barely went past me hips...oh no.

**Sebastian**

I could sense something was wrong. Even though Ciel was in the possession of another demon, I could sense what he was feeling. He seemed...disgusted...and...afraid? What was Claude doing to him!

I felt myself turn in to my demon form. I would get Ciel back, regardless of what I had to do to find him.

**Claude**

I gripped Ciel by the wrist and pulled him towards the bed; he attempted to resist, but he was too weak.

"Please, don't do this..." he whimpered. How absolutely...adorable...I smirked, he's too innocent.

"oh, but it's not up to you as to what I do" I smiled at him and he glared at me. He kicked me and swatted at my arms as hard as he could but he couldn't break my grip. I caught both his wrists and tied them to the bed posts; I also tied his legs down.

**Ciel**

"Stop!" I cried as he loomed over me. This was not happening. I tried to get away but the rope cut at my wrists and ankles.

"SEBASTIAN!" I prayed, how ironic, that he would appear. When he didn't I let myself cry. All of the tears I had attempted to hold back ran down my cheeks.

**Sebastian**

"SEBASTIAN!" I heard him call my name...by now my face was covered in tears as well. The ache in my chest seemed to be coming from my dead heart...was I heartbroken? Is this what all humans speak of?

I ran towards the sound of his voice and arrived at a large mansion...there was no way I would be able to find him in there. He sounded like he was in trouble...how long would it take me to find him?

I can't find him unless he orders me...

**Ciel**

I was numb. I felt nothing. I didn't cry, scream, frown, smile...nothing. I felt no emotions.

Claude went in to the shower once he finished with me, he left me on the bed by myself.

Why didn't Sebastian come and find me? Maybe I said it wrong...he was my butler so...maybe I had to order him around?

Just as I was about to order him to come, Claude appeared again. He wasn't going to use me again...was he? He walked over to the bed, smirking again...

I gathered all the strength I had and shouted, "SEBASTIAN! I ORDER YOU TO COME HERE...NOW!"

**Claude is such a creep...ugh...just writing this gave me the creeps...x_x**

**Anyways, I will try to update soon again! Thanks for reading! Please R and R! **


	8. Chapter 8

**All I Want Is To Be Perfect**

By: Cielphantomhive145

**Yay! Another chapter! I finished studying for my exams...so I have a bit of free time!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji!**

**Warnings: Mild violence and creeper Claude. **

**Sebastian**

"SEBASTIAN, I ORDER YOU TO COME...NOW!"

Ah, I have never heard such beautiful words. I knew he would figure it out.

I smirked, and began to run towards the room he was in.

I felt a sudden stabbing pain in my hand, right on the contract symbol...

**Claude**

"You little..." my eyes began to glow red. Now I would have to take drastic measures.

He smiled at me, "It seems that I have won."

I slapped him across the face with my demonic strength. When I retracted my arm, he spit out several of his teeth, frowning.

I walked over to the desk in the corner and retrieved my weapon.

**Ciel**

My face was throbbing and my mouth was filling with blood. He walked over to his desk and rummaged through one of the drawers. When he turned around I saw he was holding a beautiful knife with a snake head at the end of the hilt.

He approached me, "If I can't have you, no one can" he lifted the knife above his head.

**Sebastian**

I threw the door open just in time to see the devil's dagger penetrate Ciel's stomach.

"Ciel!" ignoring the pain that was shooting up my contract hand I body checked Claude, retrieved the knife and drove it through his stomach.

I stabbed him 38 times, enough to end his life.

I turned to Ciel, who was coughing up blood and struggling to breathe...

"Ciel, please, stay awake, I will not let you die," I broke his bonds and held him close. There was only option for his survival. One that I wouldn't mind too much...

"S-s-Sebastian..." His eyes looked into mine; they were glassy, just like a dolls eye.

"My lord, I'm terribly sorry..."

"It's alright, y-you c-came..." he gasped in for breath. We had to leave...now.

I flew out a nearby window, running at demonic speeds desperately trying to save Ciel's life. I would not let him die.

**Ciel**

I felt myself slipping away, unable to comprehend my surroundings. Is this what it feels like to die? I could feel Sebastian's panicked breathes as he ran as fast as he could...

Everything went dark...

**Sebastian**

I could feel Ciel's breathing rate increasing; his breathes becoming more difficult and shallow. We finally reached the water's edge. I placed Ciel gently into the boat and hopped in after him. I paddled as quickly as I could, with not a minute to spare.

Ciel was barely breathing when we finally arrived.

I promptly placed him on the stone bench and began the preparations for the ceremony.

**Ciel**

I had a vague understanding of what was going on around me...all I knew was Sebastian was rushing around doing something. The bench was cold and hard...where was I?

"Sebastian..." I tried calling his name; he looked up and ran over.

"My lord, I need you to close your eyes, you are going to be alright, I promise. Try to fall asleep, you won't die, I promise."

I had my doubts about that...what was he going to do to prevent my death? I listened to him, hoping that finally something good would happen to me. Maybe death won't be so bad?

I closed my eyes and once again, everything went dark.

**Sebastian**

Everything was ready...I hoped that he wouldn't be disappointed in my decision. He seems to be quite fond of me, so I'm sure he won't be upset.

I picked up his limp body and placed him in the middle of the pentagram design that marked our contract.

**Ciel**

I'm on fire; at least, that's what it feels like. My entire body is stinging, my heart felt like it as going to explode. The veins in my arms and legs began to freeze; literally icing over.

Is this what it feels like to die? I suppose I shouldn't have believed that he would save me. No one ever came to save me, so what would be different this time?

**Sebastian**

I carried him in to the rebuilt Phantomhive manor and placed him in his bed. He would awake by this evening, and he will probably be hungry...

I proceeded down the stairs to prepare dinner.

**Ciel**

When I woke up I could hear everything...literally. What happened to me? I moved my hand in front of my eyes but I couldn't see it...I thought only my right eye was gone? I felt my face with my hands, testing to see if my eyes were open. I could hear everything, and smell everything as well.

Cake.

I could smell cake.

I tested my eyes again, but I still couldn't see anything!

"SEBASTIAN!" I screamed.

There was a faint knock at the door and I heard it creak open. There was a moment of silence and then I heard a serving tray smash in the ground.

**Thanks for reading! I promise there will be more updates soon! Please keep reading, rating, and reviewing! My friend is still going to read it when I reach 100! **


	9. Blind

**All I Want Is To Be Perfect**

By: Cielphantomhive145

**Hi **** I am almost done all my exams! All that's left is math :S oh well~ I have some spare time so I figured I should update **

**Warnings: None**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Kuroshitsuji**

**Sebastian**

"SEBASTIAN!" Ciel called.

He's awake...finally! The transformation seems to have been successful. I picked up the serving tray and placed a cup of Earl Grey tea on it. I ascended the stairs quickly, arriving at the boy's bed chambers within a few seconds.

I knocked and waited, there was no response...that's strange.

I opened the door to see Ciel sitting up, his eyes a pale dead colour.

I dropped the serving tray and ran to his bedside.

**Ciel**

"Sebastian?" I heard him run towards me, "My lord!" he exclaimed, I felt his hands brush over my cheeks.

"S-s-Sebastian...w-what are you d-doing" I tried to move back but I was already against the headboard. I tried to reach for his hands but I couldn't see anything and I ended up grabbing the front of his jacket.

"Can you see anything?" He sounded sort of panicked...what's wrong with me?

"No...Why? And why am I not breathing?" I panicked, maybe I was dead.

"I turned you into a demon, but it seems that there was an unexpected side effect..." his voice trailed off.

"Sebastian, why can't I see" I questioned, I already knew the side effect, I was trying to confirm my suspicions.

"My lord, I believe that was the side effect."

**Sebastian**

This is not good. He can't see anything at all...even though he's a demon; there is no way his sight will ever be recovered.

"Sebastian, can you fix my eyes?" I could hear the pleading in his voice. He wasn't even looking at me when he was talking. How could I have let this happen? I am definitely not one hell of a butler.

I raised my hand to his chin and turned his head towards me, "Ciel, I'm terribly sorry, but I don't believe I can fix your eyes."

"But...I'm a demon, won't my eyes regenerate?"

"No, they were damaged beyond repair before you were fully turned in to a demon."

His face paled and I saw his lip quiver.

"Ciel, it's alright to-"

"NO, IT'S NOT ALRIGHT! AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE BEEN THROUGH NOT ONE GOOD THING EVER HAPPENS TO ME! I WILL NOT CRY ONE MORE TEAR. I AM DONE WITH THIS!" as he said this he pushed me away and attempted to get off the bed. He took one step forward and fell...well, almost, because I caught him just before he hit the floor.

"Do NOT touch me. It's an order!"

**Ciel**

This is not happening. I need to see, how am I supposed to do anything if I'm blind? I could feel Sebastian watching me as I stumbled blindly around my room, attempting to find my dresser.

"My lord..."

"Sebastian, follow your orders." I replied coldly. Why hadn't he let me die? I'm useless to him now, I have no soul.

I could feel my rage boiling; the palms of my hands became hot, burning hot. I looked down in the general direction of my hands, but of course I couldn't see anything.

"Tche." I continued walking...or, stumbling around me room; ignoring the increasing temperature in my hands. I finally reached my dresser and opened a drawer that I assumed held my outfits. I picked up something that felt like clothing.

"Do you require any assistance-"

"NO! Leave my room, I shall change myself." I replied as I found my way back to my bed.

**Sebastian**

"Yes, my lord..." I watched sadly as the young boy's razor sharp words tore through me like knives.

I left the room and stood just outside the door, just in case something happened to him.

Not 30 seconds later I smelt burning fabric.

"Sebastian!" I heard a desperate call. I flung the door open to see Ciel wearing his shirt backwards, and the clothes in his hands were...on fire?!

"I don't know what I did! I couldn't see and...and..." He began to shake.

I rushed over and removed the clothing article from his hands and put out the fire.

"No...No...Please...stop!" I looked over and Ciel was sitting on the bed hyperventilating. I grabbed his hands to prevent them from burning anything else.

"Ciel, it's alright, I'm right here." I hugged him, I could care less if he burned me; I'd heal.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! PLEASE! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?"

"Shhh..." I picked him up and held him close to my chest. By now his hands had cooled off considerably.

"Everything...is on fire..." His eyes widened in fear and he was shaking uncontrollably now.

I held him tighter, "Nothing is on fire."

"Sebastian! H-h-help m-me"

"I'm right here," I brushed his hair out of his eyes.

**Ciel**

I could feel someone stroking my forehead, where am I?

"Ciel," I heard his velvety voice speak my name.

I moved my hands, grasping on to the lapels of his coat.

"What happened?" I questioned, it felt as if my hands had been on fire.

"All demons have powers, yours seems to be fire. You can create fire in the palms of your hands." As he said this he grasped my hand, touching the area that had emitted the flames.

"Does that mean that I'm going to be setting everything on fire?" I frowned, how is this going to work?

He chuckled, "No, we will work on controlling it. For now, I believe you need a bath; you smell like burnt clothes."

I blushed, "A-alright."

"Wait here," he placed me back on the bed. I heard him walk in to the bathroom and the tap turn on.

I decided that I needed to practice walking without seeing. I sat up and felt for the edge of the bed. I could hear the bath running, so I decided to follow the sound.

I wobbled forward, grabbing on to anything within reach for balance. Each step I took became steadier.

Just as my foot landed on the cold marble of the bathroom floor the tub turned off.

**Sebastian**

"You are rather impatient," I chuckled.

"I needed to practice walking without being able to see" he frowned.

"Well, you did it" I walked forward and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, "Good job."

His pale face turned bright red, "T-thanks...can I take my bath now?"

I couldn't help but laugh, "Yes."

**I know this chapter was really boring...I have sort of a writer's block **** sorry about that. Anyways, please rate and review! **


	10. Is this the end?

**All I want is To Be Perfect**

By: Cielphantomhive145

**Hi, I'm going to try my best to make this chapter interesting. Please keep reading and reviewing! Thank-you for sticking with my story even with the last chapter being...horrible. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji or any of the characters in this story besides the old lady. The storyline however, is mine. **

**Ciel**

For the past few weeks I have been improving my ability to walk and do things without my eyes. I also learned to control my flaming hands. Sebastian has been helping me every step of the way. I really miss being able to see him...the closest I can get to seeing him is by feeling out the features of his face and mentally creating an image.

-Knock knock-

I turned my head towards the sound of the door, "Come in".

"My lord, I have some important information for you in regards of your real parents." He paused

"Go on" this seemed like it was important information.

"I have found evidence that leads me to the conclusion the Rachel and Vincent were a part of the cult that killed your parents."

I froze. How is that even possible?

"Do you know where they are?" I could feel my anger boiling. I could care less about losing my soul, as long as I got my revenge.

"I have a list of numerous locations; however, there is one problem."

I sighed; nothing ever works out, does it?

"What is it" I frowned.

"The head of this cult is a well known demon...in fact, his name is Lucifer."

That got my attention, "Isn't Lucifer the main demon? The owner of hell?"

"Yes, my lord."

**Sebastian**

My lord sat there in shock. I hope that I haven't caused him to regret his wish of revenge.

"Sebastian, this is an order," he turned to face me, "Kill Lucifer and destroy his cult."

I paused for a minute. How can I kill Lucifer? I will most likely end up losing my life in the process. However, Ciel's wish is my command, and denying his orders definitely won't help in my quest to gain his love.

Yes, for the past few weeks, I have been by his side for pretty well the entire day. I have seen him at his best and at his worse. I accept that he cannot see, and I love him for his persistence. That and his soul is the perfect combination of innocence and hatred. I don't believe that he will ever return my feelings; all I can do is try my best to fulfill his wishes and make him happy.

"Yes, my lord." I bowed with my hand over my heart. I looked up to see Ciel smiling. Wait a minute...HE'S SMILING?!

"This is all going to end, isn't it?" He smiled, "I will get my revenge and then you will claim your reward."

He wasn't smiling happily, he was smiling...sadly?

"Is everything alright, my lord? We do have a contract after all." I couldn't help but feel bad, it's only been 3 months since he was adopted and he has almost died numerous times.

"I understand. I would never back out of the contract; that would be ludicrous."

I could feel his emotions fighting with each other, "Ciel, I never said that I would take your soul, nor did I say that I would leave you."

**Ciel**

I lifted my head with a start. Firstly, I just heard my first name; secondly, Sebastian...wasn't going to leave me? He had turned me in to a demon...so he couldn't take my soul. What did he want than?

"What is it you want than?" I asked curiously

"Ah, you will figure it out eventually" he said teasingly.

"Tche" I began thinking of all the possibilities, I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even hear Sebastian.

"My lord? Are these plans alright with you?" I looked at him in confusion, what plans did he have?

"Were you not listening?" I could hear him smirking.

"I was busy thinking about different ways to kill Lucifer."

"Well then, I shall repeat the plans. Tonight we will head out at 9p.m. to the location of Lucifer's cult. From there we will gain your revenge by assassinating him. Is that alright?"

He was going to gain my revenge tonight? "Yes...Sebastian, I'm hungry. Make me a chocolate cake or something."

He smirked again, "Of course, _my _lord".

**Sebastian**

At 9 p.m, I set off with Ciel in my arms towards Lucifer's hideout.

"Why can't I walk? I am a demon as well, you know." He questioned.

"Because, you are much too loud. Even though you are a demon, you will aren't a very strong one." I smirked.

With that he went quiet; I could feel him shaking with anticipation and nervousness. He would never admit he was nervous though.

**Ciel**

Why do I feel nervous? I know Sebastian will protect me, but if he's protecting me, would he sacrifice himself?

He is a mere servant, I shouldn't care about this.

But why is it that I do? I don't really care about him, do I?

We have bonded over the past few weeks, but I don't understand my feelings towards him. Sometimes it feels as though he is a really close friend, but other times I want our friendship to be something more. Maybe I just need him as a...father?

When we arrived at the hideout, I took care to be extra quiet. I didn't want to end up getting caught and having Sebastian lose his life because of me.

**Sebastian**

I crept around the outside of the building, looking for an entrance. It appeared that the only entrance available was guarded by humans. They should be fairly easy to take down.

"Wait here" I whispered, placing Ciel down on the ground where I was standing. We were within eyesight of the guards but I doubt they would be able to see us.

He nodded in consent and I turned towards them. My eyes flashed red as I approached them.

"Good evening, would you happen to know where the road is? I seem to have become lost." I said with a large smile that could make a baby cry.

"Head straight that way and you should reach a road that should take you in to town." The taller of the two men stated. As he raised his arm to point in that direction I grabbed a hold of it and quickly pushed him in to the other guy. I promptly broke their necks so that they would be unable to make a sound. Their cold dead eyes were pointed right up at the sky, forever gazing at the stars.

**Ciel**

I waited for Sebastian to return. I didn't hear anything, so I didn't know what he was doing.

He didn't die, did he?

That's when I heard two snaps, and I turned in the direction of the sound.

I walked towards it, as quietly as I could; heating my hands up in case I needed to attack.

"My lord, the guards have been removed; I need to carry you once again."

I nodded in consent, instantly cooling my hands off. I wish he didn't have to carry me, it was awkward. Every time he lifted me up it felt as though my non-existent heart was going to leap through my chest.

**Sebastian**

When I entered the building I could sense the presence of one demon and about ten other humans. We reached a stair well that appeared to lead in to a basement. Looking around, I descended down the stairs as quietly as possible. The further down we went, the warmer it became. The walled turned to stone, and red markings were all over them. They were covered in a variety of satanic symbols, including different contract seals.

We finally reached a door. I could sense that all of the humans and Lucifer were in that room.

So, this is where it ends.

I placed Ciel down on the floor just outside of the room, "I need you to be as quiet as possible."

As I turned around to open the door I felt something pull at the sleeve of my jacket.

I turned to see Ciel gripping on to it.

I could see the longing in his eyes, knowing that this could be the end. I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek, he turned bright red of course.

"I will be right back, _Ciel_" I whispered in his ear. With that I opened the door and walked in.

"Ah, Sebastian, we have been expecting you!" Lucifer grinned.

"Good evening, Lucifer." I looked around the room, I would take out the humans first, and then I would take out Lucifer.

**Ciel**

He kissed me. Is this what he meant by saying he wasn't going to leave? Did Sebastian...love me?

I could hear screaming coming from behind the door. I pushed myself deeper in to the corner beside the door, trying to hide in the shadows.

The screams died down after a while, Sebastian obviously took care of the humans.

He's winning, Sebastian always wins...He would never leave me. He kissed me, he loves me, obviously he's going to come back, right?

**Sebastian**

As I killed the humans, all Lucifer did was sit there and watch. He didn't move to help them, he didn't even say anything. In fact, he was laughing.

When I finished I removed my blood covered gloves and threw them across the room. I would definitely have to buy a new pair...

"Bravo, Sebastian." Lucifer stood up, clapping, "Now, what is it that you have come here for? Obviously you have not come here for a dinner party."

I smirked, "I am here on the terms of a contract I have made."

He looked at me, "Oh, what exactly is this contract?"

"My orders were to gain revenge on the people who murdered my contractor's parents and humiliated him."

"Is you contractor Ciel Phantomhive?"

"Yes, it is." Obviously he would know that, but at the mention of his name my eyes narrowed. Did he know about my contract the entire time?

"I presume you are planning on killing me than, correct?" He stared at me, unsmiling.

"That is correct." I replied equally as serious.

"Well than..." Lucifer stood up from his throne, "shall we begin?"

With that he pulled out his demon sword, the leviathan.

If a demon gets hit by that...they die...

No, I can't think that way, Ciel is waiting for me, I will return to Ciel.

I smiled, "Yes."

Lucifer raised his sword and charged at me. I swiftly dodged it, but he hit the wall, causing it to collapse.

I watched in horror as he realized that Ciel was here with me. In all fairness, he should've sensed that there was another demon here.

"Ah, I see that you brought your contractor with you? How convenient."

**Ciel**

I felt the ground shake and suddenly the wall I was leaning on collapsed, thankfully, none of the pieces of the wall landed on me.

I heard an unfamiliar voice, it sounded deep and menacing, "Ah, I see that you brought your contractor with you? How convenient." I felt strong hands grasp on to me. I immediately began to heat up my hands, trying to squirm out of his grasp.

"My, my, he is rather..._adorable..._isn't he?"

When my hands were fully heated, I quickly reached up and slapped him, hitting him with as much strength as possible.

"OH and he's a fire demon too! How exciting!" Lucifer exclaimed.

"Put him down."I could hear Sebastian's voice take on a new menacing tone.

"Oh, am I bothering you?" He taunted Sebastian, "I don't really feel like fighting anymore, maybe I will just make _Ciel_ do it for me."

I froze, that's not possible.

I quickly tried to escape his grasp. Pushing him with as much force as I could I managed to escape. I ran as quickly as I could towards where Sebastian had been standing based on when I heard him speak.

**Sebastian**

"No." I knew if Lucifer found out that Ciel was here that this would happen. I watched Ciel struggle, knowing that it was a trap to lure me in so he could attack me. I was unable to do anything.

I was going to lose Ciel. Suddenly Ciel was on the floor, running towards me. I could tell Lucifer hadn't possessed him yet.

Just before he reached me, I saw his eyes take on a new, deep shade of red. He abruptly stopped running.

No...no...No, no, no, this is not happening. I watched in horror as Lucifer approached Ciel with his sword.

I quickly ran towards Ciel, but Lucifer made it there first.

"Ciel, take this sword and kill Sebastian" he smirked.

There was no way that I could win this now, because...

This was now a battle between two lovers.

**Ciel**

I felt my limbs turn numb. I stopped running; I didn't want to, something forced me to.

It felt just like the time Sebastian had possessed me and killed Rachel and Vincent.

I heard footsteps approaching from both sides of me, presumably Sebastian and Lucifer, "Ciel, take this sword and kill Sebastian."

I froze. My arm automatically rose from my side and grasped on to the sword, the cold metal instantly burning my hot skin.

I felt my feet turn my body, I tried to resist, but I was unable to do anything. Slowly and painfully, I began to walk towards Sebastian.

**Sebastian**

No...I watched as Ciel approached me. I couldn't kill him. I could never do that.

I could see in his eyes that he was still there; I could see that he was fighting the invisible forces pulling on his limbs.

I stood, unmoving as Ciel pulled the sword back, preparing the stab me.

So this is the end, isn't it?

**That was a really long chapter...anyways, there is only one more left. Please keep reading and reviewing. I promise that the next chapter will be the best out of all of them! **

**Thanks! **


	11. New life

**All I Want is to Be Perfect**

By: Cielphantomhive145

**Hi! I didn't think that chapter would get so many positive reviews. Sadly, this story is going to have to come to an end...otherwise the plot would just become extremely boring. I am no good at writing stories that aren't tragic.**

**Warning: Character death, intense sadness, violence. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji. I only own the plot of the story, "All I Want is To Be Perfect." **

**Ciel**

I watched in horror as my arm rose, preparing to skewer Sebastian with the sword.

I looked in to his eyes, he wasn't going to move. He was going to sacrifice himself for me...why?

As the knife was about to plunge down through him, I fought with all the strength I had. The knife slowly pushed forward, but I kept pulling back.

I would not lose this battle.

**Sebastian**

I watched the inner turmoil in Ciel. His eyes changed between their deep blue colour and the menacing red violently.

There was no way for me to free him other than sacrificing myself. Ciel is almost like a son to me. It sounded like I loved him as more than that, but that isn't the case. I love him as my son, seeing as I never had any children of my own.

Running forward, I grabbed the sword, pulling it from Ciel's grasp. I flung it across the room towards Lucifer, who was frozen with shock. It cut his arm off; both the sword and arm landing on the ground with a sickening thud.

"AHHHH" Lucifer doubled over in pain, clutching his arm. This bought me some time to grab on to Ciel.

"Ciel, listen to me, please. Keep fighting, I love you, you are my son. I never want to leave you, we will live together and I will care for you for eternity. I understand that your past was horrible, but you cannot just give up yet!" I pleaded with him; yelling as loud as I could.

**Ciel**

It's so dark. I can't see anything.

I kept fighting with Lucifer's possessive grasp, at some point I ended up in this dark room. _Where am I?_

"Ciel, listen to me, please. Keep fighting, I love you, you are my son. I never want to leave you, we will live together and I will care for you for eternity. I understand that your past was horrible, but you cannot just give up yet!" I could hear Sebastian pleading with me.

I would not give up.

I clenched my hands together and powered up my fire abilities. Sebastian loves me; I am his son!

I WILL NOT let my father down!

I lunged towards what appeared to be a door in this dark room, when I touched it, the wood disintegrated; leading me back to my own body. I was finally back in the battle.

**Sebastian**

His eyes turned blue once again, "Sebastian, I- "

I saw his eyes roll back in to his head and they turned bright red once again; I held him tighter.

His body was shaking, he began to scream.

"Ciel, you can do this, I am waiting for you_."_

**Ciel**

"Sebastian, I- " Suddenly I felt myself being pulled away from reality. I was back in a dark room.

"You will not win this, twerp." Lucifer was upon me, in my head.

"Yes, I will." I stood up, I was not planning on losing.

"We'll see about that," he lunged at me with all of his force, punching me in the stomach. I fell to the floor, unable to breath.

"See? You are nothing but a weak demon that should have never been born!" Lucifer turned his back and walked towards the door. As he reached the door I stood up,

"My entire life I have been pushed around, unwanted, unloved. I have lost all of my battles; however, this is on that I will not lose!" My eyes glowed red and my hands burned with the anticipation of a fight. I lunged forward and caught his neck. I tightened my grip to full force. Lucifer's body shook, he hit me repeatedly but I ignored the pain.

Sebastian was waiting for me.

**Sebastian**

Lucifer was still lying in the corner nursing his arm. But he was recovering quickly; I don't know how much time I have left.

Ciel's body was still violently shaking, an intense internal battle was happening.

Suddenly the shaking ceased, and Ciel's blue eyes shot open.

"Sebastian, I love you" he gazed up at me, "And we will win this battle!" He stood up, and I could see how filthy he was. He was covered in blood, and his skin was bruised. Just because it was an internal battle doesn't mean that there aren't any outer side effects.

"Stand up, Lucifer. You have caused my family and I to be humiliated. You have no right to live, you don't even deserve to burn in hell." Ciel spat venomously at Lucifer.

Lucifer abruptly sat up, reaching for his sword, "Oh, is that so? Well, I still have lots of tricks up my sleeves." He grinned, suddenly, Ciel was pushed against a wall by an invisible force.

"Since you couldn't kill your..._Father_...then I shall give you first class view for when I do it."

I could see Ciel struggle, but it was useless. That was Lucifer's strongest spell.

This battle was now between Lucifer and I.

"I never lose," Lucifer spat at me.

"Well, neither do I" I smirked. I couldn't lose, Ciel was waiting for me.

Lucifer picked up the knife with his remaining hand. He lunged at me, aiming for my neck. I swiftly dodged and managed to stab him with my knives as I passed him.

He quickly retaliated by my side, causing my abdomen to feel like it was being burned in hell's fires. The pain was so much I stopped moving. I collapsed on to the floor, clutching my side.

"Now then..." Lucifer's eyes lit up with the deep menacing red that Ciel's were when he was possessed, "DIE!"

The knife plunged down through my chest, the pain radiating throughout my body. Out of the corner of my eye I watched as Ciel was released from the wall. He ran to my side, helping me lay back on the floor.

"Now then, Ciel, I shall let you go, but as punishment, you are doomed to living eternity knowing that you were the reason Sebastian died." With that Lucifer disappeared, leviathan and all.

**Ciel**

"NO!" I watched in horror as the knife plunged through Sebastian's chest. I collapsed off the wall, running as fast as I could towards him.

I could vaguely hear Lucifer talking to me in the background but I was so focussed on Sebastian that I didn't hear what he said.

"Ciel, I love you. You are like a son to me; it is not your fault that this happened."

"No...You can't die! You were supposed to be by my side for eternity! You weren't supposed to leave me!" I sobbed, burying my face in Sebastian's bloodied suit jacket.

"Ciel, it's alright...I will...return..." He smiled gently at me, stroking my hair as he said that.

"No...Please, Sebastian...DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE!" The tears ran freely down my cheeks. I took off his suit jacket and undid his white dress shirt. I quickly ripped his shirt up and used it as gauze; trying to stop the bleeding.

"Ciel...I promise you...I...will...r-return..." I watched as the light faded from his eyes. Returning them to a dulled crimson, mahogany colour.

"DADDY! PLEASE!" I shook his shoulders. Attempting to arouse him from his sleep. He's just sleeping, right? He isn't really dead?

"Daddy, you weren't supposed to leave. This is a very mean joke that you are playing right now. Please wake up daddy..." I sobbed, why didn't anything ever work out for me?

"Daddy..." I collapsed on top of him chest, hugging him close.

**Sebastian**

I watched from the side as Ciel sobbed. I leant down beside him and placed a gently kiss on the top of his head.

"I promise you, I will return, I have never lied to you, and I do not plan on starting now." I hugged him as sobs wracked his small frame.

"Daddy..." He collapsed on top of my beaten, dead, body. I was almost in tears myself. I set off, looking for my way to re-enter the world.

**100 years later**

**Ciel**

I roamed the streets of London aimlessly. I had nothing left for me. I have been wandering the world for the past 100 years. Looking for something that I would never find.

I felt my stomach grumble; instead of eating souls, I just ate human food. I continued down the street, looking for a bakery to get some lunch.

When I finally arrived at a suitable lunch place, I walked up to the counter and placed an order for a piece of chocolate cake.

Daddy would never approve of me eating chocolate cake for lunch. But today was the one day that I disobeyed dad's rules.

Today is the anniversary of his death.

After I paid for the cake I took a seat at a nearby table for two. I apathetically picked up my fork and began to eat my cake. I could feel the tears building up behind my eyes. I quickly wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my sweatshirts.

Since it has been 100 years, the year is 2013. (A/N yeah, this story started in the 1913). Style has really changed; people can wear whatever they want, and not be questioned about it or looked down upon.

As I lifted the fork to my mouth to finish the last bite of my cake I heard the door chimes jingle, signalling someone entered the store. I ignored it and finished my cake.

I went to take my phone out of my pocket, not noticing that someone had pulled up a chair and was sitting across from me at my table.

"Shame on you, you shouldn't be eating cake for lunch. Didn't I tell you that before?" I looked up and my eyes widened with shock.

"Dad..."

"I never tell a lie."

**I know...the ending wasn't that great. But that's it! The story is over! This was my first fanfiction ever...sadly; my friend won't be reading it because I didn't reach her review quota of 100. But I guess that's ok because I had so many fabulous and dedicated readers. **

**Thank-you all so much for reading my story and sticking with it to the end. I understand that there were quite a few uninteresting moments, but I'm working on improving my writing skills. **

**So, until next time...bye! **


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